Currently Almost There By MercyMe see related

Stupid Vampires and their stupidness

Ok, so we all know how much Alice likes the Twilight books. And anyway, I have read all but the last one... and apart from some of the more heart wrenching stuff they are pretty good...

What I really like though, is the physical relationship between Edward and Bella (in the first two books atleast.) It  is almost like a metaphor for physical intimacy in a deeper sense than it means to be. In the books, Edward can't get very physically intimate with Bella cause... well she is extremely tasty to him, and if he lost his self restraint while so close to her, he would kill her.

As I said its like a metaphor; so don't run away screaming ok? Anyway, I don't know if I'll be thought a weirdo for engineering this thought but I thought it was alot like the way guys lust after girls. In a good relationship you try to stay away from those things that will lead to or result in temptation and there for sin. And "any man who lusts after another mans wife has already commited adultery in his mind" also remember that every woman is someones future wife. The intensity of Bella's scent (due to her proximity to Edward) sends him wild, in the same way, the proximity or intimacy of a female to a guy can challenge his self restraint to the point of it snapping. I can easily imagine the allure of Bella's blood to Edward because it is so close to the attraction of the female body to the male senses/mind. Its almost painful for Edward to have Bella so close because of his attraction to her. Internal turmoil because he wants to be close to her yet not kill her. Its not an aversion to her as she first believes but really him trying to contain himself. He doesnt want to lose control and kill her. In the same way, Christian guys put boundaries up in order to protect their mind. If there were no consequences to giving in then I'm sure everyone would. But, just as Edward giving in will end up in Bella's death (and eventually his own once he could work out how to kill himself) so the male giving into temptation (as long as the woman didnt refuse) would lead to a sort of spiritual death; where he harms both the womans and his own intimacy with God.

So just like Edward did with Bella we put up boundaries past which we don't go in order to retain honour, purity and intimacy with God. Just like with Edward; it is inner turmoil. The sheer force of the attraction faces off and fights tooth and nail against the love for the woman and want to protect her from this "death". Something that would threaten to destroy a man from the inside for having caused to his love.

I can't really be sure if I got my point across... I hope I did... It may have been confusing... and there are parts that have other sides that could be expanded on... but it doesnt apply so much with the book... so I'll leave it there...

~Benji

Currently Almost There By MercyMe, Mercy Me see related

Why do they make you make titiles?

Wow, its been ages since I last blogged. And if anyone cared I have been reading some more fiction. Actually I have been reading the Twilight Series by Stephenie Meyer. I like them... though some people dont find that easy to understand... since they are romance... go figure.

Well I just got back to Darwin after going on leave for two weeks and flying down to spend it with my family in Sydney. It was awesome. I had the best time ever and I miss it already. Not the "aww, it was nice, I enjoyed that" but more the "I feel physically ill because I want to go back" sort of miss it already. I was not looking forward to coming back to work. Or even Darwin for that matter. But I was gonna just get my head down and get it over with... that was till I got back to my room to find someone has smashed an egg under my door and by the look of it (its midnight) they have also given the same treatment to my window... fun fun. I hope we dont have a suprise inspection on monday.

So anyway, I don't know what to do now. Should I say something or just get these last 3 weeks over and done with? I still have leave days left in my account. I might be able to get the last 2 weeks off if I get all the paperwork done with... I was planning to get that money payed out to me though...

I guess I'm just gonna have to see how it goes at work and what happens from there. I have to stay in Darwain till mid February anyway to get my full drivers licence up here. *sigh* I also just have someone I very dearly want to be near... I guess that will have to wait...

~Benji

Wow my writing sucks...

I was just looking at some of my old posts... and the language I used was good... yeah, I know it sounds conceted, but it was good, a nice use of the english language. Now my writing just sucks. It's bland... and mostly cynical. One of my good friends encouraged me to write another poem or expand on my last, so I was like, "rightio" but when I actually got round to sitting down with a blank page... I just sat there... with nothing to say. Nothing came into my mind at all. 

Now I have to ask myself; wat caused this?

Is it cause I've been in the Army? Has the straightforward manner of orders and briefings managed to swindle its way into my style of writing? My method of self expression.

Is it the inherent lifestyle that comes with the army? It has been quite bland. I mean I know the rifles and the shooting and the blowing stuff up bit is exciting... but that doesnt exactly come along all that often. I used to want to use poetic devices or a metaphor to describe things... now I just don't care.

Or, could it be that my choice of literature has shifted? I don't think I have read a good bit of fantasy all year. The only exception to this is when I read The Hobbit and Brisingr and, as a matter of fact my interest in language and my use of it did infact flourish at those times. Hmmm. (Man I sound conceted.)

So what to do? Should I try to force it back, write a poem every day till its good? No, I don't think that would work. Should I do nothing? As much as that appeals I think I should probably do something... Will reading less Army and more fiction help? How should I know? I'm asking the questions here.

And that's my attempt at writing a self complaint... please forward to management Audry.

Currently Crysis Warhead By Electronic Arts see related

I can't think of a witty title...

Man, I am bored... really, really bored... Its 12pm... and I'm not working... I havent been working for the last hour... and I'm not due back at work till 1330... And I know that when I go back they will just say "next parade is at 1530 for knock off... so really, all I'm doing is PT in the mornings... and then just sitting infront of my computer the rest of the time...

This frustrates me to the max! I joined to serve... at the moment I'm more of a burden to the Army than a help. I don't do anything and I get paid to do so. I understand (much to my dislike) that I cant get deployed, I don't have enough time left in my contract and all my unit is already deployed anyway, but I could still be put to some use. Use me in a training support platoon for the guys who are deploying, if I can't fight beside them over in the sand box, atleast let me help train them so they don't need me to do so.

Besides all this, if I'm to pass selection for commando reserves, I need to be on my game. How am I supposed to do that when the only time I get to use a weapon is to clean it, let alone fire it, and even when I am cleaning, if they just gave me a few more minutes to practice drills, or fire positions, or strip and assemble it would go a long way to getting me through... *sigh*

Anyway, so an incident happened the other night at my Unit's end of year function. A guy (army buddy) was bringing into question the honour of a woman he knew to be very close to me, though in baser terms (use your imagination here, Army... drunk... I think you can work out similar enough phrases). Anyway, as most people were, this bloke was drunk so I decided to just come in firm but not aggressive... Oh what, he didnt want to stop? Oh, you wanna start the shoving? Ok, BAM half way through the next lot of crap spewing from his mouth he found my thumb blocking off his windpipe... One of my mates grabbed me and took me away to get another coke (I'm the offical designated driver these days) letting me calm down abit, reminding me it wasnt worth it and that the other guy was fairly pissed. It was for only this reason (him being drunk) that I had let him go...
So, the ways of the warrior eh? Is this one trait I want to keep? Well I'd say its one I've always had. I don't mind if you mock me, but call into question my close friends or family and I can't stand idol. Chivalry has always been something I have believed in. But are these actions the right ones? Does violence have a place? Well it fixed this problem real quick. He didnt say a word after that. But wat about another time? Or what if this guy can beat the crap out of me and chooses to do so?
Does that even matter? I don't know... I just thought I'd share it with you guys... see if you'd comment on it or not...

~Ben

From the pocket of my cams

So from the pocket of my cams I pull a beer bottle cap... and a piece of four-b (a cloth we use to clean weapons)...

And it seems strangely all too sumative of my last year in the Army....

A beer bottle cap... and a piece of four-b...

*sigh*